In case you missed my post about chaos, let me summarize the main point:
My house gets chaotic and messy.
Oh yes. Oh yes. It does.
And sometimes it begins to get under my skin, distracting me from the things that are actually important. I begin to focus on the mess. And I get distracted from enjoying this amazing journey with my four children. I forget about the wonderful blessing of our home and family. And I begin to whine and complain about mess. I let discontentment enter my heart and it builds into stress, dissatisfaction, anger, and breeds a generally unpleasant place for our family.
So in order to prevent the downhill cycle of my attitude when the mess begins to get under my skin , I try to remember a few things, little statements that help maintain my perspective:
1. Creativity often produces mess and chaos. It’s true. Kids zoned out in front of electronics aren’t all that messy. (and on some afternoons, that includes my kids) But in the midst of creative chaos, I like to remind myself that it is a GOOD THING!
2. Presence is messy. Absence is clean. My children are homeschooled and with me all day. Their presence is certainly messier than their absence. And if I sent them to school, I would have time to clean my house without their trailing chaos. But for now, we try to pitch in together, to organize when we can, pick up, and clean. But it isn’t quiet or neat from 9 AM to 4 PM like it could be. And I remind myself that that is MY CHOICE and I wouldn’t change it for a little neatness….at least most days I wouldn’t…
3. It’s not all their fault. I could use my evening time in a more productive manner. Sometimes I neglect to consider how much time I waste on FB and blogger and email and google reader and talking on the phone and reading and watching a movie and…well, you get the point. Not all of my time is accounted for in a productive manner. So the piles that get on my nerves at time can be considered partly my own doing. And I need to either buckle down and spend some free time cleaning OR just accept it, move the pile and move on.
4. More people = more mess. I guess this one is obvious. And when the majority of the house is under age 9, it definitely complicates the mess issue. More laundry to fold. More dishes to clean. More feet to track in mud. You get the point here.
5. Nighttime is coming. Nighttime is coming. Before little ones head off to bed, a big clean-up occurs so that they mess is gone when I come down to relax.
6. Perspective…This too shall pass. As with every stage of life, this one shall pass too. Children will move on and the mess will move on with them. I know that is true because my mom keeps her house wonderfully clean until she has her grandchildren for a few days. Then it looks like mine. So in the days that my house is clean and quiet, I have no doubt I will miss the mess.
And those are a few things I try to remind myself when I am frustrated by the creative chaos of my house.
In the meantime, we have spent some time this summer trying to reorganize and re-shuffle the furniture and the systems in order to have a more peaceful and relaxing environment for all of us!
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8 comments:
Wonderful attitude and truth. Attittude is 99% of dealing with whatever we are currently facing.
I can totally relate to this post. Thank you so much for putting it into perspective, especailly the part about creativity creates messes. I'm jus impressed that you manage to clean up before bedtime...sometimes I go a day, or two, or...well, you get the point!
Only two kids here, but in a small rowhome with no storage. And getting over my Type-A-Neat-Freak tendencies so my kids can be kids has been really hard.
Things that help keep it manageable: a rough cleaning schedule. I clean something everyday, so the house stays relatively clean. Vacuum and dust on Mondays and Thursdays, bathrooms on other days, mopping on Sunday and Wednesday, etc. A place for everything. When the toys start to get out of control, we do a weed out and donate, trash or sell stuff. And my kids know they are responsible for the messes they make. Legos all over the floor? Great, but guess who gets to pick them up? (Not me!)
Good Reminder as we start back to school and messy projects and such. I also want to begin with an end in mind. I try to remind myself what do I want the boys to say about me when they are grown-up?
"Man, my mom knew how to keep a house clean!"
OR
"I loved growing up in my house! We had so much fun and played nerf guns ALL over the house!"
Thanks for reminding me of my goals!
Great post, Mary! So many of us can identify with that. As Caedmon's Call says in their song, 'Sacred': "This house is a good mess; it's the proof of life." :) And for those of us with neat-freak tendencies, the 'good mess' is part of what the Lord uses to sanctify us and help us get over ourselves. (myself, LOL)
wonderful post....SO SO TRUE!!!!!!
Thanks for this post, Mary. You have a very good perspective on it. I can totally relate to the frustration of walking through the house and seeing the mess too! I just walk around, and my blood starts boiling. But the truth is, I often do that right after I've been on the phone, or been of FB. I need to put things into perspective. Because I would certainly rather have my kids playing and creating than sitting in front of the TV (although I do that sometimes too).
Great perspective! Just remember they won't always be little!!
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