Training Up Part IV: Rewards

Part One
Part Two
Part Three: Learning the rules

As we discussed our goals for discipline and training we began to lay out rules, routines, and chores. I knew that a big elaborate system with all sorts of rewards, points, or stuff to keep track of would drive me insane. I am also not in a place for a ton of big steps, so we had to break it into small bite size changes.

After hashing out what I wasn’t up for, we had to lay out what we were up for. So as we brainstormed some thoughts about rules and chores we began to discuss the idea of rewards. Do we want rewards? What will they be for? When will they phase out? What are the rewards?

After some debate, Eric and I decided that we would use rewards to encourage obedience and to help keep us all focused on the rule we were working on. (We are going to introduce our house rules one at a time) The rewards are meant to encourage the children to focus and remind Eric and I to praise their behavior when appropriate. (Kids just love praise, don’t they?)

We wanted the rewards to be easy to implement, focused on family time or service to one another, and FREE! Together, we brainstormed a list one night:

1. extra bedtime book
2. 15 minutes of family play and you get to dictate what we play
3. mommy does your AM dishwasher job
4. 10 minute later bedtime
5. mommy or daddy do your bedtime clean up jobs
6. 15 minutes of special reading time with parent
7. Choose dinner for the next evening and eat on our special day plate
8. 15 minutes of extra computer time
9. Break from dishwasher job

The kids have responded well to the rewards and the rules. It is helpful to have clear guidelines and rewards for following them. Mostly, the idea of earning marbles helps keep me focused on praising the kids for behavior that honors other family members.

We are taking small steps as a family, and we continue to pray that God will bless our efforts so that we can honor Him daily with our interactions.