A little dose of reality

My husband and I knew that this would be one of my hardest years. We talked about the challenges of four children under the age of 7, balancing two homeschooling schedules, controlling a two year old in the house with tantrums, and suffering from the lack of sleep a newborn brings.

But it was all talk.

Until now.

I am in the midst of living that reality and it is a lot harder in the doing than it was in the talking.

And my mood finally shows it.

The adrenaline has worn off. The constant help disappeared. And life kicked in gear MINUS any good sleep to help deal with it.

The reality of four little ones in the house has sunk in. On top of it, I am trying to work out two homeschool schedules this year. Which might be easier without interruptions from a 2 year old and baby.

I knew this would be difficult. And it is.

It feels as though I have no time to think. No time to engage any sort of thought beyond what has to be done. I am constantly caring for someone, disciplining someone, feeding someone, educating someone, cleaning after someone, etc etc. OR I am planning to tackle one of those tasks when I can motivate myself to get to it.

But I have started running a few times a week. I am training to run a 5K in October and the time spent exercising is a nice realease. But that is really motivated in part by my final complaint of the evening...

My wardrobe!

A summer baby has not worked out so well. You see, summer clothing tends to be a bit more fitted. There aren't a whole lot of sweaters and sweatshirts to hide under, so NOTHING in my closet fits. NOTHING people. N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

With the exception of:

1. two pairs of cotton athletic shorts that are not very attractive (one gray, one navy blue)
2. one pair of elastic waist denim capris from pregnancy #1
3. T-shirts. And I don't mean cute ones. I mean ones from VBS, swim team spirit wear, and Human Relations Day in high school. The kind of stuff you wear to paint or mow the lawn.

That's it. And it is truly getting to me.

I think I finally hit the wall this weekend after my hair dryer broke. I had just gotten my hair cut the day before and was so excited to have a new way to style my hair. Afterall, if your clothing looks like you are going to spend the day weeding out back, at least your hair can say something trendy. But then that was taken.

So I headed off to church with flat, frizzed out hair and a too small dress with too small heels. Because apparently my feet have grown as well.

*sigh

If you aren't getting the picture here, let's just say that my attitude hasn't been bright and shiny.

Thankfully, my very concerned husband picked up on my attitude. Though, admittedly, it probably wasn't hard after the hair dryer incident this morning.

Poor man.

But he rocks. And today he sent me out after church to just go do whatever I needed to do. And what I needed to do was to get out of that too small clothing.

So I put on my gray pair of athletic shorts and my purple tie-dyed swim team mom spiritwear and I went shopping. Without a doubt, any teenage daughter would have run far away from this totally uncool mom, but thankfully I don't have a teenage daughter right now, so I sported the outfit and left the house.

I was determined to fix the wardrobe issue.

After all, the solutions to my other difficulties involve getting rid of children and that isn't realistic. (kidding...sort of)

The time out was much needed and after shopping, I took a walk with a friend. Then I returned home, a bit refreshed and ready to face my reality.

Thankfully, I was able to face it in kahki shorts and a cute navy blue shirt. Which helped, at least temporarily.

Then I fed the baby while the hubby heated up leftovers. I cleared and cleaned the table while he put the two year old to bed. I put the girls to bed while he grocery shopped. I rocked the two year old (upset about his passies which are now gone) while the hubby sorted laundry. I fed the infant while the hubby started laundry....

Reality.

So I wish I had a happy twist for this post. Some clever thought or lesson I have learned. But I don't.

It's just where I am in life. It's frustrating at times and definitely difficult, but I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, completing one task at a time, and enjoying the moments with my kids while they are little.

And attempting to not let the little things get to me.

But admitting that sometimes they do.