I often hesitate to share our method because it isn't for everyone. Some of you will think I am nuts. Some of you will think I am mean. Some of you will think it is brilliant and will give it a whirl.
Just keep in mind that this is what works for us. It suits my "get things done" personality, my schedule, and our parenting. If it begins to rubs you wrong, don't read the rest! But I will assure you that the friends who have jumped on board and done the same thing have been so glad! So I am going to go ahead and share the family potty training method.
The Basics
YOU determine when potty training will commence and there is NO alternative and NO turning back. This date is picked at your convenience at a time when you will commit to TWO weeks of staying home. (clearly this eliminates anyone working full or part time unless you take some time off)
Unlike popular theories of "waiting till your child shows interest", you just pick a date between the ages of 2 and 2.5 years that will work for you. Mark two weeks off the calendar and don't make ANY plans.
(this is where most folks lose it because it is hard to be focused on this and home for 2 weeks. It was tough for us with child number 3 because numbers 1 and 2 didn't want to be home all day)
Basically, the diapers just go away. BAM! Gone. Your child wakes up and from that day forward, there is only underwear.
(In our house, naptime and nighttime are the exception and we use a diaper or pull up. My cousin does the whole thing at once with success, but I don't have that level of patience)
Day One
1. Have your little potties in the main rooms, easily accessible.
2. Have a stack of pants, underwear, and socks ready in a main area. You are going to need a lot of clothing changes today and you don't want to have to frustrate yourself by running to bedrooms for them.
3. Have M-M's around. I use these on day one just to keep my child on the potty when I KNOW he/she has to go and can't make it happen. Some folks use them as rewards for success, but I wouldn't do that on Day One because you aren't going to see lots of success.
4. Pick out a bunch of books to read on the potty and have them within reach of the potty area.
5. DVD's and VHS tapes as well as TV shows will be your FRIEND for the next 2-3 days. Just accept it. If you normally have big time limits on TV, as do we, then try to let that go for the next few days.
6. Continually keep your child's sippy cup filled with liquid - ALL DAY LONG! Keep them drinking constantly because you want them to have to go to the potty constantly. Give them their favorite drink. Once again, typical limits on juice and such aren't enforced!
There aren't any real rules for this day. Just expect a lot of accidents and frustration. It is tough, but hang in there. Each of my children have been totally different and I have had to "go with the flow" for each one.
Don't expect your child to make it to the potty AT ALL on day one. (I know that shocks many folks who then quit because their child doesn't "seem ready", but only one of mine made it to the potty on day one)
Keep sitting them on the potty every 30-45 minutes and praise them for sitting there and trying. You'll begin to see how often they need to go after drinking a sippy cup of liquid.
Our stories
With K, we talked about the potty for days and had it around. We read books about the potty and had her "prepared" for the change. She had played with her underwear and was quite excited about the whole thing. She did NOT like being messy and that helped. Yet she never made it to the potty all day.
T loved watching TV and that helped keep her on the potty. Unfortunately, she would stand up, walk away and then go to the bathroom. It drove us insane that she would walk away from the potty and then go. AHHHHH! AND she was NOT upset about being completely soaking wet. Sometimes I didn't even notice she had gone until I saw her pants were soaked. This scared me because you often hear that it means the child isn't ready. But we stuck it out.
D was upset about the whole thing. He wanted his diaper on and cried and cried when I put on underwear. I tried three types and finally let him go without underwear and he wore just his sweatpants.
(His protests didn't change the date of training - you just go with whatever they throw at you)
He was the ONLY child to make it to the potty one or two times on Day One. That is because I physically held him there against his will when I KNEW he had to go. I bribed him with M-M's and then just held him on the potty while encouraging him to go. He was so thrilled (and shocked) when he did.
Hints for Day One
1. Keep it upbeat. NEVER punish for an accident. NEVER yell or get frustrated. Just say, "Opps. Let's get you changed." Continually praise and encourage them just for sitting on the potty!!!!
2. Expect accidents ALL DAY LONG or you will get frustrated, which you shouldn't do. (see hint #1)
3. Try to get your child to sit on the potty every 30 minutes or so. During the day, monitor the length of time from when they drink a cup full of liquid to when they have to go to the bathroom.
4. If you have older children, see if you can't have them play at a neighbors. Or have a friend come over with children their ages to play with them while you focus on your potty trainer.
5. The goal of this day is that your child becomes aware of the physical "feeling" of going to the bathroom. The diaper hides that feeling really well and they are about to experience for the first time. It might scare them, upset them, or the might ignore it. But they will get it!
MOST OF ALL...
stay IN the house
OFF the phone
OFF the computer
and stay focused on the task at hand.
And get ready because Day Two is often much more frustrating!!!!
(This post has gotten long, so I'll do the rest in a post tomorrow)
Unlike popular theories of "waiting till your child shows interest", you just pick a date between the ages of 2 and 2.5 years that will work for you. Mark two weeks off the calendar and don't make ANY plans.
(this is where most folks lose it because it is hard to be focused on this and home for 2 weeks. It was tough for us with child number 3 because numbers 1 and 2 didn't want to be home all day)
Basically, the diapers just go away. BAM! Gone. Your child wakes up and from that day forward, there is only underwear.
(In our house, naptime and nighttime are the exception and we use a diaper or pull up. My cousin does the whole thing at once with success, but I don't have that level of patience)
Day One
1. Have your little potties in the main rooms, easily accessible.
2. Have a stack of pants, underwear, and socks ready in a main area. You are going to need a lot of clothing changes today and you don't want to have to frustrate yourself by running to bedrooms for them.
3. Have M-M's around. I use these on day one just to keep my child on the potty when I KNOW he/she has to go and can't make it happen. Some folks use them as rewards for success, but I wouldn't do that on Day One because you aren't going to see lots of success.
4. Pick out a bunch of books to read on the potty and have them within reach of the potty area.
5. DVD's and VHS tapes as well as TV shows will be your FRIEND for the next 2-3 days. Just accept it. If you normally have big time limits on TV, as do we, then try to let that go for the next few days.
6. Continually keep your child's sippy cup filled with liquid - ALL DAY LONG! Keep them drinking constantly because you want them to have to go to the potty constantly. Give them their favorite drink. Once again, typical limits on juice and such aren't enforced!
There aren't any real rules for this day. Just expect a lot of accidents and frustration. It is tough, but hang in there. Each of my children have been totally different and I have had to "go with the flow" for each one.
Don't expect your child to make it to the potty AT ALL on day one. (I know that shocks many folks who then quit because their child doesn't "seem ready", but only one of mine made it to the potty on day one)
Keep sitting them on the potty every 30-45 minutes and praise them for sitting there and trying. You'll begin to see how often they need to go after drinking a sippy cup of liquid.
Our stories
With K, we talked about the potty for days and had it around. We read books about the potty and had her "prepared" for the change. She had played with her underwear and was quite excited about the whole thing. She did NOT like being messy and that helped. Yet she never made it to the potty all day.
T loved watching TV and that helped keep her on the potty. Unfortunately, she would stand up, walk away and then go to the bathroom. It drove us insane that she would walk away from the potty and then go. AHHHHH! AND she was NOT upset about being completely soaking wet. Sometimes I didn't even notice she had gone until I saw her pants were soaked. This scared me because you often hear that it means the child isn't ready. But we stuck it out.
D was upset about the whole thing. He wanted his diaper on and cried and cried when I put on underwear. I tried three types and finally let him go without underwear and he wore just his sweatpants.
(His protests didn't change the date of training - you just go with whatever they throw at you)
He was the ONLY child to make it to the potty one or two times on Day One. That is because I physically held him there against his will when I KNEW he had to go. I bribed him with M-M's and then just held him on the potty while encouraging him to go. He was so thrilled (and shocked) when he did.
Hints for Day One
1. Keep it upbeat. NEVER punish for an accident. NEVER yell or get frustrated. Just say, "Opps. Let's get you changed." Continually praise and encourage them just for sitting on the potty!!!!
2. Expect accidents ALL DAY LONG or you will get frustrated, which you shouldn't do. (see hint #1)
3. Try to get your child to sit on the potty every 30 minutes or so. During the day, monitor the length of time from when they drink a cup full of liquid to when they have to go to the bathroom.
4. If you have older children, see if you can't have them play at a neighbors. Or have a friend come over with children their ages to play with them while you focus on your potty trainer.
5. The goal of this day is that your child becomes aware of the physical "feeling" of going to the bathroom. The diaper hides that feeling really well and they are about to experience for the first time. It might scare them, upset them, or the might ignore it. But they will get it!
MOST OF ALL...
stay IN the house
OFF the phone
OFF the computer
and stay focused on the task at hand.
And get ready because Day Two is often much more frustrating!!!!
(This post has gotten long, so I'll do the rest in a post tomorrow)
Posts
7 comments:
Thanks for sharing, Mary! I look forward to hearing what you have to say about DAY TWO. :)
ooo Thank you so much for sharing this Mary. Being a first time Mom I have no idea what I am doing! I can't wait to read the rest of it.. but so far I'm 100% agreeing!
we're getting ready PTing so I'm looking forward to reading more! Thanks for sharing!!
You KNOW, I love your thoughts on this! I will be re-reading this when it's time to potty train Liam.
I agree...YOU, the parent determines the time. The child will go with it.
Definitely not my style, but glad it works for you! We don't use toddler potties, so this method would be a lot of work for us.
We waited until closer to 3 with Johnny and then it clicked one day and he was PT within a few days. We'll do the same with Maureen, who is 2 1/2 right now.
I use a very similar method to you. Stay home, stay focussed, no diapers, no going back.
Ditto for the nighttimes (which typically come 6-12 months later). I tell you, though, this no going back thing is tough when I have a four-year-old who pees the bed every other night! (To make life easier, I only use the plastic backed mattress cover and a thin blanket - less laundry to wash.)
:)
Yeah for D! :) We're waiting on Kaleb, but we did with all of ours until it was summer and all of them did it in 1 day...which goes along nicely with my personality of 'let's get this over with today!' hee hee.
Post a Comment